Thursday

How Children Learn to Love

" For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. "
John3:15.


At Christmas time it is only natural for us to think about love, love of our friends, love of Jesus Christ and love of God the Father.

How children learn to love?
I love my ten-month old daughter. I can not wait for her to learn how to speak. There is only one reason: I am waiting to hear her say, "Daddy, I love you!" I know that Aby will say, "I love you" quite soon because she hears those words from me a hundred times a day.
How can a person say, "I love you" if they never heard those words as a child? It really hit me to hear from our program psychologist about the number of the children in both of our ninth grades who had never heard the words of love from their parents.

Tatiana Vasilevna is a strong Christian counsellor with a lot of experience in working with difficult teenagers and drug addicts. She used to be a drug addict herself but the Lord saved her 10 years ago and she has been a great witness of God's grace ever since. She has been a real gift from God to our children.


Katia and Tania are sisters and they are both in our program at the orphanage. Katia is 16 and Tania is 15. They never heard their mother, or father, or grandmother say to them, "I love you". The two sisters could not say those words to each other this afternoon during their hour with Tatiana Vasilevna. Katia never said ,"I love you" to anybody and she just did not know how to do it!

Katia and Tania came to us from an orphanage in the village last year. They both are very nice and sweet girls. Every weekend they go to visit their alcoholic mother. They do it because she needs their help. This woman has never said to her daughters, "I love you"! They have never heard the grandmother say these words to their mother either. Some people spend their entire life waiting to hear these words and it never comes. I am reminded of the verse from Exodus 20 where it says that "the children will be punished for the sin of their fathers to the third and fourth generation of those that hate Me". Katia had to make a choice this afternoon if she wanted to carry on the hatred in her family. Will she be able to love people and her own children in the future even though she had never been taught love? Tatiana Vasilevna prayed with the two sisters at the end of their session and gave them an assignment. For a few days they have to try to say in their minds and then whisper to each other, "I love you!"
A lot of the children at the orphanage-internot #4 in Odessa hate their parents and this hatred destroys their lives. What we put a lot of our energy and time into is helping them forgive their parents. It is very hard to talk about God's love and loving God to the children who were not raised in love. From working with the street children and orphans I have learned over the years that before teaching them to love God and others we need to help them learn to love their parents. This is why we have 10 staff members working with our 45 orphans daily, and we appreciate your daily prayers for our dear children, psychologists, tutors and supervisors. God has to change the future of these children!


Sveta S., who has been in our program at the orphanage for 6 years and, for the first time, told her mother how much she loves her. Sveta met with Tatiana Vasilevna many times talking about anger and hurt in her heart. Sveta has 3 older brothers, a grandmother and an alcoholic mother who just got out of prison and is dying from lung cancer. Sveta would not spend even five minutes in the room visiting before her mother would start kicking her out. Tatiana Vasilevna tried to explain to Sveta her mother's behavior, pointing out the fear, guilt and pain the mother could possibly have towards her own children. Sveta was encouraged to make the first move and tell her mother the words of love. The next day Sveta went to visit her mother. We prayed. A few hours later Sveta was running up the stairs to our new methodology room. The door opened and she yelled, "You were right, you were so right about my mother, Tatiana Vasilevna! My mother and I cried for a long time and then she said that she loves me!"
Vika G. is not in our class anymore. Because of her age she was moved to a different class this Fall and she is in the 6th grade while her old classmates and friends are in the 5th grade. You can still see her most of the time in the 5th grade playroom in the afternoon because she feels love there. She recently turned 14 and it was the most touching birthday in her life! The two 5th grade supervisors saw the girls putting stuff together to give to Vika on her birthday. The girls had very little to give and the supervisors gave Olia, Sasha and Aliona some money to run to the store and buy a little gift for their friend. At the store the girls loved a beautiful card but they found out they were short on money. Sasha came up to the saleslady and told how much they wanted to buy the card for their friend but they were 10 kopeikas short (one American cent). The woman discovered that these girls do not have mamas and papas but they love their good friend Vika. She did not just let them buy this card but also offered to pick one more card. Vika could not wait to show us the birthday presents from her old friends when Tania and I walked into the playroom. The supervisors were smiling. We took Vika to the store and asked her to pick a birthday present. Vika said, "Please, buy me a box of laundry detergent!" It was hard for me to hide tears in my eyes. Vika was happy and grateful to get a bag full of cleaning supplies. But there was only one thing that made her birthday very special - knowing that so many people love her!
Thank you for showing God's love to our 45 orphans through your prayers, gifts and financial support! For the last few months we have been able to buy a lot of clothes, school supplies, medications, books, Christian movies and new furniture for them. The children love their new methodology room where they can spend time with their psychologists and tutors who help them shape their future in Christ!
Merry Christmas and our love to you!
Paul, Tania and Aby Becker

...and you are to give Him the name Jesus, because He will save his people from their sins . MT 1:21
--
mailto:beck@real.ua or paul_becker49@yahoo.com

Tax deductible contributions can be made out to :

Chapelgate Presbyterian Church
2600 Marriottsville Road
Marriottsville, Maryland 21104
memo on check: Account # 9284M Paul Becker Orphans Ministry
or
Ukraine Children's Aid Fund, Inc.
P.O. Box 2047
Ellicott City, MD 21043-2047
attn: Becker- Odessa

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